Today we showed up to a dentist appointment an hour too early, so we went to a nearby bookstore to chew up some time. Given today is Ryan’s burial, I was feeling particularly heartbroken and not like the child that Christ adores.
My youngest son, Decker is prone to emotional outbursts and so when he melted into a pile of tears and sobbed extremely loudly when I told him he could not get a toy he desired, I was not surprised. So, since I am a professional mom, I did what any mother of four would do. I listened without reply which is what I prefer to call “ignoring him.” Then I calmly continued my shopping staying where I could see him and making sure that he was safe. Pandering to what he wanted would have only taught him that when he throws a tantrum he gets his way and that is just never going to happen. He felt the need to express his emotions and cry it out and so I let him cry all balled up on the floor in the center of the bookstore. I didn’t really pay attention to what other people where thinking about this situation because I would rather have him learn the lesson now then when he turns sixteen and asks for a Lamborghini. Decker was safe, he was watched over, and he was learning to trust that I was doing what was best for him even though he couldn’t see the big picture.
I know that even today this situation has played out with me and my heavenly Father. I want something or disagree with what God has allowed to occur and I throw a big, messy tantrum sometimes even in the middle of a bookstore. I question God, I get mad at Him, and I even wonder why He isn’t doing things my way. He listens, He watches over me, and He allows me to cry my heart out. He even used Decker’s tantrum today to remind me that I am safe, I am watched over, and I need to trust that He sees the whole picture and He is doing what is best for me even though I may not see it yet.
Sent from my Windows Phone
Here is a message that my mom wrote to friends and family about my cousin, Ryan:
Dear Friends & Family:Many of you have heard by now of the death of our nephew Gunnery Sgt Ryan Jeschke (USMC) on August 10 in Afghanistan. We appreciate so much your out-pouring of sympathy, support, and prayers and ask that you continue to pray for all the family, esp. Ryan’s dear wife Sheila, parents Tom & Carolyn Jeschke, and sisters Kara and Jean. We are all grieved beyond words, but know that Ryan had a sincere faith in Jesus Christ and can trust that he is with Him in Glory. We are also deeply grateful for Ryan’s sacrificial service (3 tours in Iraq and 2 in Afghanistan). He is a true hero and died to keep us all free. The Commonwealth of Virginia will fly their flags at half-mast tomorrow in Ryan’s honor. Here is the funeral information if any of you are able or would like to attend as we celebrate Ryan’s life and honor his sacrifice. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers. (and esp. Bill as he officiates for both services).
Tuesday August 28th 2012
Funeral Service 10 am The Kings Chapel
12925 Braddock Road Clifton VA 20124
Wednesday August 29th 2012
Burial 1 pm Arlington National Cemetery
Memorial Dr. Fort Meyer VA 22211
Yesterday my beautiful Raine turned ten, although we are determined that she is actually still nine since we do not want her to grow up so fast. Raine is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful and helpful girl and I am blessed every day to have her as my daughter.
Tonight at our family prayer and devotion time, Raine volunteered to pray and prayed the sweetest little prayer:
“Dear God, please help Mom with her shoulder pain. Please heal her and help the pain to go away. Please help her sadness about Ryan to turn to joy since he is in heaven with You. We love you and praise you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
So simple, so precious, so sweet, so true. I am so thankful for Raine’s heart and her loving, Christ-like spirit.
Beautiful piece that my sister wrote about my cousin Ryan Jeschke. I have been avoiding facebook because seeing too many reminders of him is still too raw and painful, but this perfectly captures the love and admiration that we all had for Ryan. Although, Kath, you may have some competition because I am pretty sure that Ryan told me a few times that I was his favorite cousin too.